We can hear things like “love yourself” or “have compassion on yourself” and sometimes there are good ideas to help us do this that can really work for us. Sometimes we are in a place to hear these things and do them, and other times we cannot. A google search can offer hundreds of ideas, books, videos, classes, and articles on each topic.
But there is nothing like an experience.
When we are not able to even consider such things as loving ourselves or having compassion for ourselves, there is a reason. Maybe we are drained, and exhausted emotionally, and physically. Maybe we are deeply hurt. Confused. Lost. Grieving. Overwhelmed. Deeply wounded. There are many other things that can stop us, or make us unable, to love ourselves or have compassion for ourselves. This does not mean there is “something wrong” with us.
Maybe we are unsure why we cannot love ourselves at this time, but we can find out. This could be anything, but there is a reason and it matters. Learning to love, appreciate and accept ourselves unconditionally is a gift of life we can offer to ourselves. This gift to ourselves will have a rippling effect on our lives and will impact others too. So, this is not at all selfish.
Maybe we have experienced trauma we have not spoken of in decades. Maybe we are in an abusive relationship. Maybe there are secrets in our hearts and mind, things that we have not spoken of, or healed from in our lives. Life is a gift, but it is also a challenge at times and for some folks, it is a nightmare until they get what they need to heal. This can take a long time, but it can and does happen. There is always hope. There is help. Exactly what you need is there, just keep on looking.
NEVER GIVE UP. NEVER. Rest maybe, but never ever give up.
We may want to desperately love ourselves. We may long to have compassion and be gentle with ourselves. But we just cannot. We may not know how. We may feel we are unworthy of such a “luxury” and yet these acts (learning to love ourselves and show compassion to ourselves) are necessities for our well-being. In times like these, a song may be helpful. A song can open our hearts and allow us to reach out. As we discover truths through music, we can begin to heal, we can find the help we crave. We may find our inner strength to reach out to a therapist who can help us on our journey. We can slowly understand the wounds and the needs we have and how to meet them in ways that will work for us. This can be complicated and take time.
Staying alive, love and belonging, freedom and boundaries, power and fun can be met in our lives in time. We share these needs, but we meet them in our own ways, and on our timelines. Sometimes we can work on one at a time. We can learn to identify our needs and this can be the start of a new way of being ourselves. As we are opening to life, sometimes through songs, we can become more of what we are already, but maybe forgot, or even did not know our own worth and value.
We are always “Being and Becoming” in this life.
We grow. We change. Sometimes, often time, we need a helping hand, a light in our darkens, a soft song to lay our heads and hearts on. A song to allow our tears to flow freely. A song of hope and peace. A song that brings joy and relief. Songs can do all that for me. The same song, at different times, can provide exactly what we need when we need it too. This is amazing. Music is a gift. May those who can produce music, write lyrics, sing and give us music know they are richly helping many of us along our journey, and may they have what they give to us too.
I was introduced to this song through Linda Thai’s, Certificate in Somatic Embodiment & Regulation Strategies program. This is one of the most amazing programs I have been involved with in some time. The program is a community of people from all around the world, brought to us by Linda in Alaska (and wherever she is traveling too). The wonder of ZOOM learning is a gift to all of us. The class is a community. We look forward to meeting each week. There are many personal and professional learning experiences going on weekly. There is awareness, deep awakening, beginnings of healing, and a source of personal and professional growth for many. The work will last far beyond the program, as we each will bring what we are learning to our personal lives and share it with those we serve also in various fields of work.
There are over a hundred people in our group and yet Linda has a way to make it so personal. As we are getting “let it” she is often singing and shares the song during the week in an email with other notes from the class. The songs are new to me and I find them touching, sweet, strong, soft and powerful. Music is special for me, and often very powerful. I have been introduced to several beautiful songs I may have never known without Linda introducing them.
Here is one that is simple yet powerful. Music is magical. one day I sang this song and wept. Other times singing this song brought me peace and calm. The song can be a sweet lullaby too. Where we are at any given time internally makes a difference in how songs can impact us (or not). This one is sweet, simple, powerful, calming, and worth a listen. See where it takes you.
From Utube, with lyrics here is the song: Gentle with Myself
If you would like to check out Linda’s site, here is the link: https://www.linda-thai.com
May we each find what we are seeking. May we each find ways to meet our needs that are right for us at this time and be willing, open, and able to grow and change too. May we share our journey with safe people and be an encourager along the paths we take in the journey we call life.
Please note:
All of our blogs are intended for educational purposes only. These are not intended as “advice” or any form of therapeutic intervention. Please contact your doctor, local mental health office for help with individual problems or concerns. You may also call 988 to speak with a person about self-harm thoughts.
You matter. Help and hope are there for you.
