Let’s be careful to acknowledge our strengths. We often ignore what we’ve done right and what we are currently doing right. We press on and on, often without pausing and saying to ourselves: “I’ve got this!”
Let’s take notice of those little and big things that we do and have done.
Why?
This little habit will increase our ability to do more, and to appreciate ourselves and our work. It’s also good modeling for our children and grandchildren. Recognizing and noticing our strength is not at all bragging or being arrogant, it’s being truthful and honest.
This habit can help us grow and actually “Be and Become” more of the person we are on insdie and desire to be too. As we are more truthful and honest with ourselves, we become healthier, more alive, peaceful, stronger and can learn more about ourselves and others too.
Let’s also recognize that we’ve gotten through tough stuff.
We made it out of the dark times, lonely times, unhappy times and now we can draw from those experiences. Dark is not necessarily bad. Dark is just dark; light is just light. Learning to trust ourselves to get through it, to get help if needed, to grow through both dark and light times is important if we want to live fully. It’s important to recognize if we’re in a dark place, or a difficult season, and that we’re going to get through it.
By taking time to pause and recognize when things are going well, we will have put away some strength to get us through the tougher days.
Let’s be aware of others that might be in the dark too.
When we see others in pain, distress, or appearing to struggle, maybe we can ask, “How are you, really?” and provide space to really listen. Then hear what they say with no judgements or criticism but simple acceptance. Be a friend. Experience love and belonging. Sharing our humanity. This is fully living. We may not know, but this could be helping that person (or ourselves) stay alive too. Yet, if the problems are serious and need attention, let’s be careful to know our boundaries, and to lead them to help if that is needed for their situation. We each have the freedom of choice, sometimes we need a hand with this too.
Maybe we did not get this help when we needed it, but perhaps we can give it to another person and the gifts we receive in return may surprise us. Far too often we keep our pain to ourselves and sometimes that makes it worse. There’s no shame in struggling, in feeling stuck, in hurting emotionally or in being in the dark. There’s no shame in needing a hand.
When we allow others to help us, we are gift to them as much as they are us. When we are privileged to help another person by listening, providing support, or leading them to someone who can help, we are living fully.
Where are we now?
Wherever we are on our journey, it never hurts to take a quick look at each of the five needs and see if they have any keys for us. Do we need to take better care of our bodies and stay alive a little bit easier?
How are we doing with love and belonging? Do we feel lonely and sad because we don’t belong anywhere? We can perhaps look around and find “our tribe” in a place to volunteer and see what comes from this experience. Maybe some new relationship will develop. We may need to spend some time with ourselves, getting to know what we love a little bit more. We matter. Time with ourselves is important, even essential if we want to live fully.
Do we feel a lack of freedom in our lives and completely overwhelmed because our boundaries are so messed up? We can fix that by looking at our priorities and values. This is not so easy and simple. There are many obligations, depending on our age and life situation, but we can take time to examine our life and see if there are any changes we want to make and do that with time, planning and patience.
Do we feel somewhat powerless? We can look at what gives us power and strength and work specifically on those things. We may be surprised at the ways our life can improve with changes we make to increase our power. This can be through meditation, examining our self-talk, exercising, writing, setting goals and meeting them, then acknowledging what we are doing too. Power comes in many forms for each of us. There is no one size fits all. While we are getting to know and love ourselves, we will learn what power we want to develop as well as what power we have already.
What about fun? Are we having much fun? What would we like to do for fun this week? If we are too stressed for fun that might be a message to notice and could mean, we need to makea little adjustment for a little fun somehow. We can do it. Fun is like power, very individual and based on our situation, needs, circumstances, and what our desires are, the ways we experience fun will vary a great deal. Again, time with ourselves can help us identify what we like or may want to try to do for fun.
As we “count it all” we can see there is a common thread in the needs: getting to know ourselves helps us meet each of the needs. Take time to get to know you. Learning to identify our needs and meet them in healthy ways may help us live more fully and help us meet our goals and see our dreams become realities over time.
If you need a helping hand, reach out and get one. If you see somebody else that needs a hand, give them yours. You might need to connect them with someone who will meet their needs in ways you cannot. Let’s just be there for one another.
Please note:
All of our blogs are intended for educational purposes only. These are not intended as “advice” or any form of therapeutic intervention. Please contact your doctor, local mental health office for help with individual problems or concerns. You may also call 988 to speak with a person about self-harm thoughts.
You matter. Help and hope are there for you.
