Every now and then we find ourselves in a position when we really need a helping hand. We could be experiencing grief. There are so many forms of grief and so many reasons that we could be grieving. Sometimes we need a helping hand. We may need to do an exploration of why we are the way we are, and honestly explore what we want to change and how to do that. We may need to learn some cognitive skills. Perhaps art or music therapy can lead the way to the life we want to live. Not all therapy is the same. We all need different things at different times in our lives. Find what you are seeking and be open, therapy has changed a great deal over the last decade because research has taught us so much.
A friend once said, “You know, it’s funny, often our insurance will help us with the expense of therapy, but we still run away. We make excuses. We are afraid of the unknown and the known. We’ll spend our money on anything else before we’ll spend money on our mind. We will drink, we will hide from our feelings, if we even are aware of them, but to face them is too hard, so we hide.” She went on to say, “Sometimes hiding was easier in the short term, but it sure had a price. Therapy has been hard but so good for me. I am freer now. Free to be me. Free to let others be who they are also.”
She gave me permission to share her words, hoping they will help others find the inner strength and courage to seek help. Seeking help can be scary, with good reasons. My friend was very scared when she began, and it took a long time to get through some old stuff and learn new ways of thinking and being. The fear faded in time and rose at other times. She is grateful that she did not give up on herself and the work she needed to do.
When we embrace therapy, we are going into the unknown, and at times, we bring things we know far too well, or at least we think we do.
Sometimes we discover what we thought we knew was not actually as it seemed.
What a life-changing journey therapy can be for us. What will happen? What will we find out? What difference will it make? That all depends on several variables, but we won’t know if we don’t try and take the risk of exploring our inner world. This can sometimes led to changes in our outer world.
Today, therapy is not as uncommon as it was decades ago. People seek a therapist for so many reasons. Yet, many people are not ever going to see a therapist. We each are on our own journey. Not everyone will benefit from therapy, not everyone needs to go to therapy. Sometimes we don’t need to pay for professional help, we might be able to find what we need from self-help books, support groups, local churches, or even with friends and family. If the time comes that we need a therapist, keep in mind it’s an investment not just for yourself but for all of those you impact with your life.
There is a rippling impact when we decide to take the leap into work with a professional to gain some insight, wisdom, and strength to do things that we need to do for ourselves. No one is an island. When one person in the family experiences change, often other people change. This can create difficulties or can be wonderful. It all depends.
Therapy can be a lot like farming. Sometimes we must dig up the old soil and then plant new seeds. There are times we need to be nourished and taken care of before we can grow and see the changes we seek. Many times, therapy is not a “quick fix.” Instead, it can be an opening to healing we did not even know we needed. Sometimes therapy can be discovering things about our core, our inner self we never knew. We may discover new ways of being that can impact every area of our lives. Therapy could be healing of old wounds and exploring traumas from the past.
Therapy is like being on “Holy Ground” and is a privilege for the therapist and the one seeking therapy too. When we share our hearts, this is a special gift. Therapy is very individual. The journey is ours alone, no one has our exact experiences. Although we are more alike than different in some ways, we are also unique.
Choosing the right therapist is very important. If we find a good match, we can benefit greatly. If we get started and the match is not so great, we can always switch, but be clear on why the change in therapist is needed and explore if you are running away or truly need to change.
Therapy needs to be a safe place where we are comfortable to explore ourselves.
Therapy takes work. Therapy requires willingness to be brave. Therapy is a gift we give to ourselves and often to those we love. When the time is right, when we are able and willing, we can find what we’re looking for within ourselves. Often, therapy can be a useful tool to rediscover ourselves. What a joy and delight! We become more able to give to others when we are clearer with who we are and know ourselves.
Some nitty gritty: Just like anything else about life, it does cost money. The therapist must pay for ongoing training, office space, insurance, and all the other expenses of running a business. Some therapists accept insurance, and some do not. There are pros and cons to going either way. When we begin the journey of therapy with an open heart and open mind the possibilities are endless. Timing is important. If the time is right for you to seek out a therapist, go for it!
All of the blogs on this site are meant for education and encouragement.
The blogs are not intended as “advice” or any “therapeutic intervention.”
Please reach out if you need help: contact your doctor, school counselors,
or local mental health services.
We also have a national hot-line if you have self-harm thoughts, please call 988 and speak with someone. Your life matters. YOU MATTER.
